In My Head
During class my professor was talking about how pretty much everything we do is a decision, a choice, whether we realize it or not. I googled how many decisions (impulsive and logical thinking) the average human makes in a day. The answer? 35,000.
Usually it's easy things we don't really realize. Like...getting out of bed or getting coffee or what we're going to wear.
I never really thought of myself as someone who was anxious or cared what people thought about me.
That was...until last Fall when I found myself having tension headaches. And crying over really simple decisions. I dug a little deeper and realized I've been overwhelmed with anxiety pretty much my whole life. I just didn't know what it was called or that I was coping with it all in a really unhealthy ways.
Also. Wow. I came here to write a blog post about something completely different, but I'm just gonna go with it! hahaha.
Anyways, when I allowed myself to admit that I struggle with being way too in my head about decisions and opened up to God and my close friends, things began to change.
Honestly I could write a billion blog posts about this lol.
But I have a specific story to share with you about yesterday. I got invited to go to a friend's house for dinner and I almost didn't go because I thought I would have to be smiley and bubbly and all the really fun parts of my personality that usually calm down towards the evening - especially when I've had a long day.
I thought my friends wouldn't understand this or that I would have to explain myself to them when they asked, "Are you feeling okay? You don't seem like yourself."
The lesson I learned here was that my true friends don't have some weird expectation for me to be something I'm not. They understand long days and going through things because..um..they're human too (who would've thought).
Oh it's true. Some people just really won't get it. And that's okay. Just...
BE. YOUR. SELF.
Your bubbly self, your chill self... yourself.
Don't let being in your own head too much stop you from deciding to do things and enjoying life.
This one post is really just a scratch the surface or dig as deep as I would like it to, but I think it's a start to what I want to share more frequently with you.
Thank you for reading my words. I hope they help or at least encourage you that you're not alone.