Looking at 2017
It is 1:19am and I sit in the little space we call a "living room" in the center of my dorm's suite. I tried and tried to fall asleep until it's time to leave for my flight to Virginia (at 2am)...but alas. Here I am writing a blog post.
I count myself truly blessed. I am so grateful for all that has happened this year. I can sit here and type the words, "I am genuinely happy" and genuinely mean it.
But, dear friend (we're friends, right?), I would not know what happiness is without experiencing its opposite this year.
The truth is that it's been a hard year. I looked back at my first blog post of the year where I said my word for the year was going to be "momentum" and I can see how it did stick. I wrote, "Keep going. Don't lose momentum."
I also wrote:
"You may realize God's purpose for your life is way different than the one you gave yourself."
And this hit so hard this year. I fell a lot this year. A lot. Straight up walked into glass doors (no, literally did that). And it's so true. What God has purposed for my life is crazy good, but also crazy different than what my expectations were.
If you're anything like me, then you might find it easy to focus on the bad that's happened vs the good. You may focus on the lies vs the truth.
The lies say I'm worthless. The lies say I can't make it. The lies say I'm not meant for this.
The truth says I am good. The truth says I stepped out of my comfort zone this year. The truth says yeah "ya done messed up a a ron" but now you know how to do it better. The truth says I love singing. The truth says I can do photography. The truth says I can be an intentional friend and good daughter and awesome sister. The truth says I am free.
Friend, sometimes I confuse freedom for being able to do whatever I think I want. The truth is that freedom is allowing yourself to live and breathe and flourish despite the bad, discomfort, and sadness. Freedom is holding on to hope amidst the darkness.
Keep going. Let's not give up.